|
|
 |
|
|
Pages: 1
I just had the grossest experience of my life..
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)
Posted by: 9:35
I contemplated posting this for a long time but finally decided to. After all, the only thread people keep posting in is that stupid word association thread 
Let me just say it right now to get your attention:
I just spent the past ten minutes cleaning up a friend's container of urine spilled on my floor.
Now, being the curious person you are, you would ask youself "What kind of crazy events lead up to you having to remove a pint of urine from your floor and objects that happened to cover the floor at that given moment?" Well, that can be answered, of course, by reading the following lengthly post! First some background.
There are always people over at this house. It could be a client of my dads, or some kid my sister is babysitting, or my friends over without me even knowing it. My room is a hub for friend's activity, because it's located right in the middle of town. Even if I don't know they're there, someone could be up in my room at any given moment. No one rings the doorbell. I'm fine with this, except for a few things:
1. At least three times I have came home to see two friends (boy and girl) making out on my futon. Now, anyone who is allowed to walk into my house without invitation is obviously a good enough friend where I won't get angry if they're hanging out in my room alone, but making out on my furniture is a little strange.
2. I am very weary about people I do not know up there when I'm not around, so inviting other people in there is a bad idea. I'm not someone to instantly kick that person out of my room, but instead talk later to the friend that invited them in the first place.
3. other stupid things
A while ago I had purchased a portible urnal as a joke on a girl friend of mine that insisted that I never leave the computer. At the time, another friend had to pee and went inside the pint sized urnal, closed it, then we left it next to my computer for the next time she came over. She freaked when she saw it, and I confirmed her statement that I do not, in fact, ever leave the computer. I poured it out later but kept the thing and threw it in my closet.
In the summer, one of my good friends lived here for a week and basically kept his stuff in my room as well. One thing he was planning on doing with a few other friends was saving urine to pour on an black car owned by a physics teacher he didn't particularly like. If you haven't heard about this prank, it's basically peeing on a black car on a hot day in summer. The smell is so horrid that they'll have to wash the car with a hose before they want to be anywhere close to it. Someone in the area did this to a teacher's black leather seats, which I think is just cruel.
The only thing I didn't care for about this plan (I wasn't involved at the time) is that he insisted on letting him use my urnal thing for storage. I let him use it, but with one rule: he could NOT keep the thing in my room, only in his SUV.
He's a smart kid, I mean, he wasn't kicked out of his house or anything, he was just staying here for a week. However, his common sense was lacking at the time - he didn't keep the urine in his SUV. Instead he hid it under my dresser where, aparently, it would be safe.
When the week ended he was out. He never did do the urine thing to the teacher's car, and that's probably a good thing too. But the urine was still there, under my dresser.
Cut to today. My dad had just brought home two old computers from work and said I could have them. I brought them upstairs and started to hook them up - one on my dresser and another on a shelf. The plan was to make one an MP3 stereo so I wouldn't have to change cds in there, and I wasn't quite sure what would make of the other one, maybe a small file server or something. It would be the third computer in that room, the one I'm on right now is in the basement where I spend most of my time.
The closest power outlet to the dresser is actually behind the thing, so I had to move it to the right to plug the cords in. What I didn't know about what I was doing is that the urine thing was sitting next to one of the wheels, and by moving the dresser, I knocked the thing over, opening the frail lid, resulting in urine pouring over the floor.
I first noticed it when I took a step back and my foot felt wet. I looked down and saw a puddle, first thinking it was a spilled paper cup that toppled over when I moved a fan about a minute earlier (glass cups seem to break whenever they're in my room so I only use paper of plastic). I thought I would wait a bit and set up the computer because it's only water, right?
Well the fan, which had been blowing in that direction, lifted the air to my nose level and it hit me: that's not water. I kneeled down, smelled the floor, and sure enough, thats pee. Not just pee, but another person's pee.
I thought I have dealt with every possible scenerio with people up until now. The next ten minutes was spent removing all that urine from the floor, from some now ruined blankets that happened to be next to the dresser, and a few books as well. I tried to get on the phone with the guy but his answering machine picked up and I left a nice message.
I don't even get upset about these kinds of things, I just laugh. I know that if I was hearing someone else tell the story, I would be laughing bery hard right now.
So in this thread, you tell us about gross experiences you have had as well.
Posted by: AK47
Today I woke up 10 minutes before hockey practice to see that the vomit I spewed last night didnt make it into my garbage can (like I thought it did).... it went all over the side of my bed and on to the carpeted floor.
It looked just like the fish sandwich and french fries I had the night before. There were light brown chunks (sandwich) and darker chunks (the fries and bread).
It even smelled like it did when I ate it.
Posted by: Null Actor
I have a very similar pee story. A friend was crashing at my place once back when I lived with my parents, and in the middle of the night he was too lazy to walk to the washroom to take a piss so he just pissed in a bottle that just happened to be there.
I got up in the morning and knocked it over by accident.
Posted by: redwench
what is it with men and urine? use the FRELLING BATHROOM
Posted by: Blackknight
Simple. It's all the way over there.
Posted by: AltronHGX
And we're all the way over here.
Posted by: taco_fox
And the toilet sure as hell can't walk over here on its own
Posted by: Shalome
One time I woke up at 10AM to see my neighbor, butt-ass naked, pissing out his second-floor window (directly across from mine) with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
When I gave him shit about it later, he said that apparently he was too drunk to put on clothes and walk down the hallway past his roommate's bedroom to the bathroom.
Boys are weird.
Posted by: Shalome
Hey 9er that should have been your first column.
Posted by: redwench
 Quote:
Originally posted by Shalome
One time I woke up at 10AM to see my neighbor, butt-ass naked, pissing out his second-floor window
he said that apparently he was too drunk to put on clothes and walk down the hallway past his roommate's bedroom to the bathroom.
|
so he has to put on clothes to walk by his roomies bedroom, but it doesnt bother him to stick his dick out a window and piss where multitudes of strangers can see him?
Quote:
Originally posted by Shalome
Boys are weird.
|
Indeed.
Posted by: 9:35
Quote:
Originally posted by redwench
so he has to put on clothes to walk by his roomies bedroom, but it doesnt bother him to stick his dick out a window and piss where multitudes of strangers can see him?
|
These kinds of things make a lot more sense if you're under the influence, ok?
Posted by: redwench
well, ive been under the influence a time or two. i dont believe schizophrenic exhibitionism was part of the events.
Posted by: 9:35
I think you're hanging out with the wrong people then
Posted by: TheeMon
ive got a few stories too :P none seem like postworthy posts though...
Posted by: laborat
If any post on here today screamed out for a Dear Labby moment, this would be one of them, but since I have to go pee, I will pass.
Posted by: Null Actor
piss?
Posted by: Gerbilo
the whole peein out the window probably would make sense in an altered state, lemme think of any stories i have.. hrmm
back when i took the bus to school years ago the bus driver pulled over and peed off the side of the bus... mind you this isn't in the country or anything, right in the middle of a residential area,
a friend of mine likes pissin on things for some reason, mailboxes, basements of parties... mind you this is all while horribly intoxicated
i've turned a drain pipe or something, not sure what it was, and crapped in that for really no good reason...
hrmm...
Posted by: redwench
Quote:
Originally posted by Shalome
Boys are weird.
|
Dear God, please make it stop.
Posted by: Gerbilo
  hi wench
Posted by: redwench
no more beer for you.
Posted by: Null Actor
While drunk, it doesn't really matter anymore if someone sees you naked or not, and if you have to go, need outweighs modesty.
For instance, I was at this concert once in this really small and crowded venue, and I needed to take a leak like nothing else, and the washroom was in this really dumb spot, and there was a line up out the door. The door was perhaps 6 feet from the desk where two girls sat taking cover charges when people entered. Now, the urinal (only one in the washroom, there were 3 other stalls though) was right next to the door. And the line up for the washroom extended out the door, and as a consequence, the door was open. Full view for the ladies. I, however, had enough beer in me that having to take a leak was the priority, so I figured what the hell, if they wanna see, what does it matter to me? So I went anyway.
Posted by: Bobaroo
Taking pisses in beer bottles and having people drink them are always funny.
Posted by: redwench
Quote:
Originally posted by Bobaroo330
Taking pisses in beer bottles and having people drink them are always funny.
|
so is setting high school students beds on fire. while they are sleeping in them.
Posted by: Bobaroo
Quote:
Originally posted by redwench
so is setting high school students beds on fire. while they are sleeping in them.
|
Thats not nice  
Posted by: Steve01
Quote:
Originally posted by redwench
so is setting high school students beds on fire. while they are sleeping in them.
|
Now now, pissing out windows and crapping in drainpipes is one thing, but burning you friends in their sleep is a whole other ball park. You Win!!! hands down.Do you sometimes burn them at the stake?
Steve
Posted by: 9:35
Quote:
Originally posted by Steve01
but burning you friends in their sleep
|
she's a teacher dood
Posted by: redwench
nah, waste of perfectly good firewood. now, staking them to a fire ant hill might work.
Posted by: Gerbilo
noo wench! more beer for all!! :-D
Posted by: Ghetto Blasta
I can't think of anything I've done at the moment, but all this talk of bodily waste reminds me of something that happened to one of my friends. Plus, it doesn't need one of these posts that are longer than the essays I write for school.
When I was in middle school, a couple of my friends and I were having a water gun fight. (This was back when Super Soakers didn't suckass.  ) We were running along the side of my house across some grass when someone on the second floor thought they'd be slick and drop a bucket of water on us. (Un)Fortunatly they timed it wrong and the water landed infront of us, wetting the grass and making it mighty slippery. When the water hit, we thought it best to keep running incase there were more of them up there, but since the grass was slippery, my friend slips and falls face first into a nice pile of dog crap. The water had made the crap all mushy so it got everywhere. All over his face, in his hair and down his shirt.
Posted by: Steve01
yummy
Posted by: Mists_Of_Avalon
that reminds me of one time that i was drunk of my ass and i decided it would be funny to piss on my friends homework and stick it back in his book....he took it to school in his bookbag without noticing much but as soon as he opened it he jsut threw away the book..
Posted by: Gerbilo
lol, you are classy
i swear my roommate for this 1 day preview thing last year just peed into the closet cause we were only there in the room for 1 night,... i just decided to not even think about it and leave...
weirdest thing i've done as far as that and being drunk off my ass is pissed while walkin backwards across the quad....
Posted by: Tecil
I had a friend piss in some guys bottle of Listerine at a party we were at in high school. I always wondered what happened with that one. At the same party one of our friends was passed out on the floor and had his mouth party open so one of the other guys pulled out a bunch of his ass hair and put it in the dudes mouth. He started smacking his lips and making weird faces. Glad I didn't pass out there.
When I'm drunk, I have a knack of just pissing where ever. If I have to go, then damnit I'm going to go. I've pissed in a couple alleys and a planter downtown. Had a friend piss off a parking garage roof down on the main strip after a hockey game.
I was at a college bar one time and there was a line for the bath room going out the door. They had one urnial and one stall. By the time I made it in the door I was ready to explode, so I said screw it and hit the sink, next thing I know all these other guys started using it to. A little bit later one of my friends hit the bathroom, when he came back he commented that people were using the sink it was so crowded. I felt like a trend setter.
Don't even get me started on friend's front and back yards let alone out in the woods. Click here for proof. 
Posted by: Gerbilo
hah! nice tecil,, sinks are classy too
I also learned at parties orwhatnot every bathroom there is is unisex , everyone in there at once no matter of what gender... thats pretty classy too..
Posted by: Maverick
were you krunked up last night, AK =)
Posted by: Bobaroo
Quote:
Originally posted by Gerbilo
I also learned at parties orwhatnot every bathroom there is is unisex , everyone in there at once no matter of what gender... thats pretty classy too..
|
Ahh yes thats true. But that is such a good thing 
Posted by: Gerbilo
lol, ya bob!
AK krunked up? never!
Posted by: Rayneeday
Lets see, last night my 16 month old barfed all over his bed. It was everything he had eaten that day from what i could see. And he had just drank a cup of milk...... this was after he had diarrhea all day too. This is just an example of what life with small children is like. And they'll pee just about anywhere too. This morning as i was reading some news stories he took off his diaper and pooped on the floor. Aren't kids great? And after reading some of these stories i dont forsee him growing out of these tendancies. Oh well, at least i wont have to clean up the messes when he gets older. Boys are gross and weird.
Posted by: Gerbilo
yes we are, yay!!
took off his diaper and pooped on the floor? brilliant!
Posted by: redwench
its apparently something they never outgrow
Posted by: Pepsi-Man[OTS]
omfg plz i read like the first 2 posts and i care to read no more...
Posted by: TheeMon
does he poop in his diaper then put his fingers in it and then pull um out and play in it/put it on stuff? heh my neighbors 2yrold does that its funny as hell (he just started talking-kinda he barley talks but he can say "aww shit" in this baby voice thats OMG so cute )
Posted by: Gerbilo
we taught my friends 2yo nephew some bad stuff, the kid is crazy...
it was my friends B-day, and his sister told her 2yo son to goto my friend and give him his present, so the kid runs up, goes "boom boom... i got new shoes" and runs away. yup
|
|
|
|
|
