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Fall fallen fell felon in O'(FALL)on
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)
Posted by: laborat
(Things you can think about while I try to sort out the seasons from the spices...)
I had originally thought to write about how my cable company keeps telling me I am a potential felon for not returning the twisted shards and melted plastic residue of my cable modem that burnt up in a fire. As if I would go back in time, sort through the ashes of a former life that sucked anyways and give them back something that sorta worked when it was new and now has a snowball's chance of ever working again.
I can live with potential felon. It fits. I have been a potential felon since reform school. If I had a choice between geek, wuss, and potential felon I would always choose potential felon and would actually become an actual felon should I be forced to choose any of the other choices. There are a lot of potential felons who frequent this board disguised as geeks and damsels in distress. So I thought the cable company story would go over.
That was before I looked over to my left on my monitor and discovered OTS's DUMMY TOOLS. Potential felons are always interested in Dummys and Tools so I started off with Dictionary.com. First I had to remind my body I was not in the bathroom (the place where I usually read the dictionary). Then I had to think of something simple I could look up.
Since It was Fall outside, (a seasonal change often accompanied by hordes of small ants and mice moving back into the house), and I had always wanted to learn the origin of Fall; I typed in Fall and clicked on Look it up!. Whoa!!! dude. I get 24 actual defs and still no Fall, at least, not the Fall I wanted. They were verbs intransitive even. Already the potential felon in me wanted to know who put verbs before nouns in a dictionary.
I get down to nouns... and there it was #5. AUTUMN. wtf!!! I already knew that. Tell me something I don't know. I browse through phasal verbs, infinitives, and gerunds. Then I get to this:
Note: Fall primarily denotes descending motion, either in a perpendicular or inclined direction, and, in most of its applications, implies, literally or figuratively, velocity, haste, suddenness, or violence. Its use is so various, and so mush diversified by modifying words, that it is not easy to enumerate its senses in all its applications.
The potential felon in me thinks that mush is probably a mispelling in a dictionary but after rereading the sentence thinks mush diversified is a cool potential band name for some punk rock alutes. The whole thing is starting to remind me of the international space conference in the 70's where they ceased negotiations because there was no clear definition of what outer space was --that the participating nations could agree to.
I'm starting to think that maybe making up my own definiton of FALL would be a lot easier than trying to find what FALL actually means. I quickly dismiss that from my consciousness since that could threaten my potential felon status. Potential felons do better when they know the rules than when they make up their own.
Finally, almost to the end.. I come across this...Fall, the season when the leaves fall from the trees...I knew that. I also vaguely remember somebody named Ferrante and Teicher (sp!) or Percy Faith who did a credible instrumental version of the "Falling Leaves". (of red and gold)
I know this cause I bought one of those el cheapo discount rack records back in the sixties so I could check out Exodus(this land is mine) which was super cool for some forgotten reason. I also know that many trees will shed their leaves in SUMMER if there is a drought.
As with most things these days, call it a senior moment, I have reached the point where the original question doesn't seem to matter or I can't remember the original question so it doesn't matter anyways.
I intend to call my cable company and tell them I will return their twisted and melted modem to them if they can come up with a definition and origin of Fall (the season when leaves fall) that would satisfy a potential felon.
Otherwise any further communications from them will (fall) on deaf ears.
Posted by: Gunslinger
Chick Corea wrote a great tune that might be interesting to potential felons with an affection for the etymology of a descending season.
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