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Best One-Liner
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Posted by: AltronHGX
Can be from anything. Also can be more than one..
Lets start big:
"I mean, it's like a Koala Bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!: -Capt Murphy, Sealab 2021
Posted by: Hacking_Lord
LOL thats funny
Posted by: AltronHGX
What's that from?
edit: oh
Posted by: Canis Lupus
"Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom." - Rodney Dangerfield
Posted by: Ghetto Blasta
"How do you like them apples, hobag?"
Posted by: uh...ok
Edited out, since it wasn't really a joke or witticism.
Posted by: Woo-Pah!
ok, I have quite a few quotes from real people.
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
-Rodney Dangerfield.
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If someone should come up to me and challenge me to a fight, I would take them kindly and forgivingly by hand, lead them to a quiet place and kill them." -Mark Twain
"There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't." -Unknown
"I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?"
Paul Merton.
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead."
Woody Allen.
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "
Charlie Brown.
Limp Bizkit. There's a band called Limp Bizkit. There's a pill that fixes that now.
Bill Engvall
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
Steven Wright.
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." -Jason Kidd
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
Marty Feldman.
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a *****, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
Stephen King
ok, sorry for the long post, but hell, i was bored... 
Posted by: Canis Lupus
Now, if someone had told me this was gonna be a "quotes" thread rather than a one-liner thread, I would have come up with something more apt 
Posted by: Ghetto Blasta
Most of those are one liners.
Besides, you didn't post a one-liner, so wtf are you talking about?
Posted by: Canis Lupus
 Quote:
Originally posted by Ghetto Blasta
Besides, you didn't post a one-liner, so wtf are you talking about?
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I didn't? wtf are you talking about?
Posted by: SpecOpsHoov
It's all coming back to me said the blind man pissing in the wind.
Posted by: Gerbilo
yeah laggy, tell GB to shove it!! hahah wassup ghetto...
there are 10 types of ppl in the world, those who can read binary and those who cannot
Posted by: CobraCommander
I was using a public restroom when a guy came up to the urinal next to me and actually said this:
"So this must be where all the d*cks hang out."
Posted by: Gerbilo
thats pretty bad... no talking at the urinals!
Posted by: 9:35
"Brianna, you're the most beautiful and intelligent daughter a father could ask for. But becomming a psychiatrist? I mean... can't you just be a trophey wife or something?"
(Ultra-good looking friend's dad on why he doesn't want to pay for more than seven years of college, and the fear that she'll analyze everything)
Posted by: Ghetto Blasta
Quote:
Originally posted by Canis Lupus
I didn't? wtf are you talking about?
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Not according to your definition of a one liner. Especially with all those quotation marks.
Quote:
Originally posted by Canis Lupus
Now, if someone had told me this was gonna be a "quotes" thread rather than a one-liner thread, I would have come up with something more apt
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How 'bout them apples!
Posted by: Canis Lupus
Ah okay, so you don't get it ... I won't hold that against you
Posted by: Woo-Pah!
Quote:
Originally posted by Gerbilo
thats pretty bad... no talking at the urinals!
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Yea, jeez, seriously... that's like breaking the code of men.
"No talking to other men while ***** hangs freely"
Rule number 534, chapter 18
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