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Nerd Jokes (proceed with caution)
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Posted by: CobraCommander
I don't really feel this should get merged with the current joke monstrosity thread. This is for tech jokes only.
#1
Two strings walk into a bar. The bartender asks the first one what he'd like.
"Hi, I'll take a beer," the first on replies.
The bartender then turns to the other string and asks, "How about you?" to which the second answers:
"Uh, yeah I'll have a beer tooEF%____##442FF03``((A000_F535||\-!233$$F8966_#%EEAF7FF543___0000___00000***$$F0000323000000"
At this point the first string turns to the bartender and says,
"You'll have to excuse my friend, he isn't null terminated."
#2
A plane is flying from Poland to Italy and everyone on the plane is either Polish or Italian. At some point during mid-flight, the plane hits some major turbulence and starts shaking violently. Everyone begins freaking out and one of the pilots comes out to try and calm everyone down. He asks everyone to stand up. Then he asks all the Italian people to move to the right side of the plane and all the Polish people to the left. The passengers look at eachother confusedly but decide to cooperate. The instant everyone is segregated, the turbulence stops and everything returns to normal. When the pilot returns to the cockpit, the other pilot asks him what he had done to correct the problem. To this he replies,
"Oh, I just made sure to get all the Poles into the left half plane."
(I don't expect anyone without an EE degree to get this one  )
Posted by: 9:35
 Quote:
lol what a bunch of newbs. Okay, I got one. I don't expect anyone without 120 in Strength to get this one
A 14 year old goes into a bar. The bartender takes a look at him and says "You're too young. Plus, it's 2:00 AM, theres a town curfew that you should abide by." The boy walks past him and over to the stools and starts to yell "STONE OF JORDAN FOR A RUSH PLEASE!" This draws the attention of the drunken customers. "STONE OF JORDAN FOR A RUSH PLEASE!" Before he is able to scream a third time, the bartender grabs him by the jacket (he's wearing a cool jacket) and tosses him out of the bar. The boy goes home and logs onto battle.net and basically says the same thing with no luck.
The next day, er... night, the kid walks into the same bar but with a sword this time. The bartender sees him and says "Hey! I told you to get the **** out of this bar, you're too young and it's too late!" The boy then draws the sword in a style he learned from 2D games, and swings but misses because the bartender is still behind the counter. The sword gets stuck in the floor (because its sharp and wedges into things) and the bartender grabs the kid by the jacket and tells him he's gonna call the cops. Everyone is laughing and having a great time because they're drunk. The kid loosens out of the grip because the bartender has had a few drinks himself, and runs out of the bar without the sword.
Even later that night when the bartender is closing up shop, the boy arives once again. "Look, kid, I've had enough trouble with you, I'm gonna kill you if you come back again!" Then suddenly a drunk driver hits the bartender and his equipment drops all over the place and the kid grabs it and sells it on ebay.
I'm not that great at this joke stuff
Posted by: CobraCommander
Quote:
Originally posted by 9:35
lol what a bunch of newbs.
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You've heard those before i suppose...
Posted by: Null Actor
EE degree? Highschool physics is all you need to understand that joke.
I'll top that though, with the worst math joke of all time:
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?
You can't, a mountain climber is a scalar.
Posted by: 9:35
Quote:
Originally posted by CobraCommander
You've heard those before i suppose...
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No I haven't actually, I thought they wee pretty boring so I posted my own
Posted by: CobraCommander
Quote:
Originally posted by Null Actor
EE degree? Highschool physics is all you need to understand that joke.
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My highschool physics class never went close to system stability and the jw axes. Thats what I get for living in the sticks.
Posted by: Canis Lupus
9er, you don't need to whip out sarcasm at every new guy who creates a new topic, you know ... that material is better used on your articles than at newcomers...
Posted by: taco_fox
How else will he prove his coolness outweighs all of ours combined? 
Posted by: 9:35
Posted by: taco_fox
http://home.houston.rr.com/tacofox/icon_cool.gif
Posted by: Gerbilo
9er for governor of california!
Posted by: Ocean
so, an atom walks into a bar and sits down. the bartender asks, "why so sad"
the atom replies, "oh, my electron left me today"
bartender: what? really? a fine guy like you? are you sure?
the atom replies, "yeah, im positive"
Posted by: Xoncide
this is what my pre-calc teacher told us the first day of school a few years ago
pi r^2? p are not squar pi are round.
HAHA
Posted by: Gerbilo
whats nu?? C over lambda!
or as my moron friend turned it into "whats happening?" "See over lambs nuts"
Posted by: SKYHN
A '1337 d3wd' is sitting on a bench in a park with a laptop. In the laptop is a WiFi card and he is connected to the internet playing a popular online game. Another '1337 d3wd' comes and says "mind if I sit here?" to which he is told "go ahead". This other d3wd also has a laptop with a WiFi card and is playing the same game. Eventually in the game, they cross paths. But rather than talk to each other directly, they chat in game and eventually decide to group together.
2 hours later they are still playing and are still grouped together, but have not spoken a word directly to each other even though they are sitting right near each other. They decide to try their luck at taking on a boss. They defeat the boss, but only one of them got the items. The '1337 d3wd' who got these items decides that they are too good to share, so he immidately turns on his friend for the last 2 hours and kills him. Then, the d3wd that killed the other d3wd raises his hands in triumph and yells out at his screen at his triumph of back stabbery. Just then the other d3wd looks up from his monitor, turns to the other d3wd and pulls the 3' sword out of its hilt that is on his back and slices the d3wds head completely off. Then he yells "Now whos got your account and your laptop, b1tch?"
Moral of the story - j00 n00b.
Posted by: Ocean
a neutron walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
as he takes out his wallet, the bartender says "for you, no charge"
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