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Quote of the Day
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Posted by: Gerbilo
OK people. In my life, i encounter many funny conversations. Some online, some in real life. For quite some time now i've been picking out quotes of the day, most are from real life.
I don't know why I do this, sorta a memory test and amusment mogombo all in one. Feel free to respond, just keep the subject on, don't wander too much.
Sometimes I will explain, others i will not, i'm just thinking this could be a fun topic that we could all get a laugh from
well, anyway, today's quote I heard at work, I was talking to a waiter, he just recieved assistance opening a bottle of wine
the waiter explaining himself said
"I can never open a bottle of wine unless it's for a hot chick in a hot tub"
there ya go, i will try to remember/ post the quote of the day everyday
enjoy
Posted by: Canis Lupus
LOL ... well me and some guys at work were just fooling around during breaktime, and we were thinking about those slogans companies and stores use. So we were coming up with some really funny slogans for the wine store, and someone came up with a real gem that I found really funny.
"Wally's Wine & Spirits... we cut corners so you don't have to..."
LOL, not really the way our store works but it was pretty funny 
Posted by: laborat
First off, I would say keep this idea going... quote of the day is a good one...
next... BBQ Brothers slogan...Private Party entertainment/catering...
"If You Like Our Music, You will Love Our Meat."
Posted by: Gerbilo
lol, nice to see my idea is a hit amongst you 2 heh.
stilll looking for todays quote, if there is one
Posted by: SuperSlinky
Heard on The Late Show:
"...and the good news is my back hair is gone and the babes are on me like a half-priced carnival ride!"
Seen on another forum:
"They irritate me like a sunburn on your ***** sometimes"
~SuperSlinky (hope that's not considered offensive)
Posted by: Gerbilo
heheh what is your quote slinky, what you said to me the other day
"stop using my car as the output of your creativity"
heh
Posted by: Kdr Kane
Happy women make a happy village!!!
Posted by: SuperSlinky
lol, "stop using my car as an outlet for your creativity"
Yeah, when I go out to my car in the morning, sometimes I find a pointless note or greeting card from Gerb...
As for the sunburn quote, just insert your favorite name for the male reproductive organ...
~SuperSlinky (nothing creative here)
Posted by: laborat
males reproduce???
Posted by: Null Actor
"the production of monsters is not some discrete, mechanical process where you sprinkle some Doom on a kid and he freaks the f*ck out." - Tycho Brahe, Penny Arcade
Posted by: Chako
Ok I will bite, here are some quotes.
"A mouse is an animal that, if killed in sufficiently many and creative ways, will generate a PhD." ~unknown.
"A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform." ~unknown
"There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale is diminished in proportion to that of space it would be quite possible for the whole story of Greece and Rome to be played out between farts." ~ Alan Bennett (1934- ), British dramatist and actor.
"Medicine, the only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existance." ~James Bryce.
Posted by: Canis Lupus
"Watching the scenery instead of the car in front of you is a good way of becoming part of both..."
Posted by: LT
"Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your door for years." -Andychap
Posted by: Kdr Kane
"A good sword is worth a thousand words."
Posted by: Chako
Some people are wise, others are otherwise.
Oportunity knocks at your door but once, misfortun is more patient.
Posted by: Canis Lupus
"What you really want, you will never have... so if you really, REALLY want something, try to want it a little less, coz you're never, EVER gonna have it..."
Posted by: Chako
Here are a few more....only computer related...
"Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software." ~Arthur C. Clarke.
"A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine." ~unknown
"A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy." ~Joseph Campbell
Posted by: tkron
Famous last words....
I think it is dead.
Posted by: Kdr Kane
"It's gonna be a bad day if you forgot to memorize your spells."
Posted by: Outlaw
this is what AlenL once said right before he left the OTS channel:
"and remember, BTS is one letter away from BS"
Posted by: Xoncide
hehe snipper i was there for that...
here an old one
"the box said windows 95 or better, so i went out and bough a mac"
Posted by: Gerbilo
7/19/01 Quote of the day
"man, that round of golf I shot today was boobies"
hehehe,
Posted by: Hackenslacker
lol Xon.
"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein
That one's just for RedWench.
"My son has taken up meditation... at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing." -Max Kauffmann
And that's for anyone who wants it.
Posted by: redwench
i love you wally
"hes dead jim"
Posted by: JeraalMordeth
"If you refuse to decide you have still made a choice."-Someone from the Antioch Chronicles team.
"I did not have sexual relationships with that woman..."-Bill Clinton.
"I am not a crook."-Richard Nixon.
"Money makes money, and the money money makes makes more money."-Benjamin Franklin. (heavy on the alliteration here)
"Read my lips. No new taxes."-George Bush.
"Sex, most fun I ever had without laughing."-Unknown.
"Kill them all. God will recognize his own."
Posted by: TheeMon
"WHO killed kenny" (had to add that)
"sorry officer i didnt know my weed grew higher then the fence"(off cops a few years back"
"goober"
(below are some titles of shirts)
"just do me"
"nice package"
"make 7 up yours"
"15 reasons why beer is better then a women"
i think ill stop there i got off topic somehow hehe
Posted by: TheeMon
" i need to do a defrag on my brain" TheeMon
"Beer, helping ugly couples get together sence 1857"
Posted by: DemonBob
Two of my favorite quotes.
Numero Uno
Numero Dos
Posted by: Chako
More of my favorits, I have lots of them gathered from the net and various books.
"...man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on." ~ Winston Churchill
"I think there's a world market for about five computers." ~Thomas Watson...founder of IBM (1943)
"Bill Gates says no matter how much more power we can supply, he'll develop some really exciting software that will bring the machine to its knees." ~Intel VP David House
"Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway." ~Andrew Tannenbaum
"If the automobile had followed the same development cyclee as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside." ~Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld
Posted by: tkron
What part of
NO
Don't you understand
Posted by: Outlaw
lol, here's another one from AlenL:
"ello, I need to hit BTS guys but is there anything ya wanna tell me real fast about the bot thingy?"
"umm err thingy is a technical term.. yeah"
Posted by: AK47
"Man, thats a sad lookin monkey"
durring a game of samba de amigo
Posted by: Gerbilo
Quote of the Day : 7/20/01
"I must be on a roll cause i'm sex butter"
Said by AK47 while playing Resident Evil 2
Posted by: uh...ok
I collected quite a few funny quotes in my two weeks in Japan...
Friend 1: "We better hurry up. It's almost 2."
Friend 2: "Oh really? What time is it?"
Friend 1: "It's 1!"
Friend 3: "I have a butt... it's right here!"
Friend 1 (after seeing the 99999th cigarette vending machine): "I feel like buying a pack of cigarettes."
"Boys, head back. You two girls, come with me." - Our trip leader
-uh...ok
Posted by: Gerbilo
Quote of the Day 7/21/01
"Jimmy Jimmy, I have to make some salads, f*ck f*ck!"
Said to me by this italian waiter at the restuarant which i work. heh
Posted by: Gerbilo
Quote of the Day : 7/22/01
"You got 10 f*cking feet!! Look at this f*cking mo!!"
said by AK47 to a bystander while watching a man back out of his parking space.
Posted by: redwench
This is how America has changed: ''We don't have our sheep heads, we're in big trouble on the weekend,'' says marketing manager Sarah Baumann.
Posted by: JeraalMordeth
...or are you going to start posting somethig else later?
Posted by: Gerbilo
other things later, lately i haven't heard too much good stuff, i'll work on it though 
Posted by: Gerbilo
Quote of the Day : 7/25/01
"Father, I'm gonna give you holy whiplash!"
said by AK47 while playing a game of Crazy Taxi
Sorry about the lack of good quotes ppl, for somereason they just started going away. Don't worry, it will all work out.
Posted by: Gerbilo
Quote of the Day : 8/1/01
It's not vandalism, were just huge time thievin' phone books
said by a friend of mine tonite lol.
Posted by: Bishop
one of my favorites while playing Carmageddon or Road rash has always been: There's only two kinds of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Posted by: Homer
Something my friends and i came up with while on a... mush trip... 
"If we could be our minds."
-Homer and friends
Posted by: TheeMon
 Quote:
Originally posted by Gerbilo
Quote of the Day : 8/1/01
It's not vandalism, were just huge time thievin' phone books
said by a friend of mine tonite lol.
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hehe what were u doin gerb? and why did like the last 5 posts have quotes from AK? hehe and homber a mush trip?? hehe i think i no whatcha meen but oh oh nevermind ahh insombnea sucks ass
Posted by: Gerbilo
hehe Thee, we were bored, we did get 25 free phonebooks for ripping though 
Posted by: TheeMon
heeh did u rip them in half? thats what i do hehe
Posted by: Bishop
vadhaH baalaaH is also one of my favorites ^_^
sanskrit, exactly translated means : Murder the less Intelligent.
Posted by: Xoncide
i have never stole, just barrowed for prolonged periods of time with out consent of the owner...
Posted by: Bishop
'which boat do you want to steal?'
"can't we call it borrowing instead?"
'did you plan to return it here when we were finished with it?'
"no, I guess not."
'Then the proper word is steal, you're the expert on ship's and sailing, I'm the expert on theft."
Posted by: Gerbilo
hehe, yeah theemon, right in half
Posted by: AK47
Oh no, is there some kind of underground group of people who rip phone books in half?
Posted by: TheeMon
ya and we... uhhh they carry ak47's
Posted by: Shalome
Situation: Lost in San Francisco, stopped at a random gas station with an outdoor payphone. Pick up phone book, start turning pages..
*sniff sniff* "Dude, i think someone PEED on this phone book!"
"aww man, and they peed on the phone too!"
-Shalome
Posted by: AK47
That is quite rotten
Posted by: Chako
Dear Shalome
As I read your prior posting, a though crossed my mind, (an event worthy of news coverage due in part for its rarity). I was thinking who would pee on outdoor phones and paraphernalia...but then a stronger though intruded on the smaller one...beating it up and tossing it out the window and down into the depths where cobwebs and dust propagate. This stronger thought commanded my feeble brain along the lines of "I don't think I want to know the answer to that one". Once finished, this stronger though left...a perplexing state of affairs for I have been searching for years the location of all my useful thoughts...I know where all my useless thoughts go..the aforementioned waste landfill co-inhabited by spider webs and dustbunnies.
Posted by: Hackenslacker
I was aka the DustBunnieKing on Bnet for a while, a couple months ago.
Posted by: LT
DustBunnie!! So THAT's where you went! Figured you were just in that hard to reach back corner under the bookcase...
About 8 years ago I took a trip with my girls to visit my cousin downstate. I got directions from his spouse, and Sandy (I love her dearly) gave me the most vague direction possible down twisty turny country roads. So of course, tho I knew I was close, I stopped at a gas station and asked the fellow inside how to get to my cousin's and gave him the address... I knew I was close...
(Keep in mind I was dealing with an incredibly huge amount of frustration)
He looked thoughtful, smiled and said (actually said and I am not kiddin): "Well, you can't get there from here."
A wiseass. I had to get a wiseass.
I had to make a decision and I made it. I did not kill him.
The gas station was on the corner of the road my cousin lived on but the road name was not up on a sign post...
When I go down there again, I will stop and kill the guy this time.
Posted by: TotalRecall
Or...buy 5 gallons of gas, spill it, and *drop* a match.
Posted by: AK47
"How about a nice bucket of AIDS?!"
Posted by: TheeMon
Quote:
Originally posted by Shalome
Situation: Lost in San Francisco, stopped at a random gas station with an outdoor payphone. Pick up phone book, start turning pages..
*sniff sniff* "Dude, i think someone PEED on this phone book!"
"aww man, and they peed on the phone too!"
-Shalome
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hmmm never peed on a fone book or a fone but we uhhh... i have put that super super glue sht that will rip ur skin away real bad on the end of the payfones at "lollipop park" (a road side rest where gay ppl hang out) EDITED - That was just disgusting, and we don't need to hear about it in forums. --Nova Z
Posted by: TheeMon
hehe ok a quote hehe
rehab is for quitters
hehe had to add that kuz of the rehab gamer thingy hehe
Posted by: Gerbilo
weird, bizzare, insane only scratches the surface with you thee heh
Posted by: Chako
Er....Theemon...I hate to break this to you, but superglue and/or other glues in that category all have one thing in common...they are fast drying glues which probably dried to the phone before you replaced the receiver.
Posted by: AK47
Damn thee, that sounded like a good story. I can only imagine how it ended 
Posted by: Hackenslacker
Maybe he puts the glue on there, and then uses the phone himself.
Posted by: TheeMon
hehe ak it only had some pee storys in it i dont think i put anything else... sorry nova didnt think thatd make any1 mad ( oh well
Posted by: Gerbilo
Quote of the Day August 14, 2001
"goddamnit! that stupid kid with one eye stole my helicopter!"
said by GhettoBlasta while trying to play a game of Earthbound
Posted by: Darkdesire
Make something idiot proof , and someone builds a better idiot.
Artifical intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
( from starcraft )
E=mc...... Doh let me get my notebook.
I am about to drop the hammer, and despinse some indiscrimant justice!
I am curous, why am I so good!!!???
Posted by: Xoncide
some times you guys scare me...
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