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Batteries not Occluded
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Posted by: laborat
Things you can think about while I try Red Zinger with Instant Nestea:
Got up early this morning. I don't do that much anymore unless it rains...it was a big day of fighting morning traffic rush hour on interstate 40 east. I didn't drive. My sister drove while I counted the number of Road Work Ahead Signs along the road. (22) Since I only saw 11 workers I wondered how the State gets away with that. Why do they always fix the roads just before it rains? Why don't they fix the roads after it rains? We have an Adopt a Pothole movement going on in St. Louis.
Anyways after an hour or so of listening to oldies on the radio, and reports from the local TV traffic copter...we get to our destination...my bi-monthly defibrillator check. A Defibrillator for those who didn't get the low down when Cheney got his, is an implantable device that will shock or pace the heart if it gets out of line. I have had one for two years now, the result of having the bad luck to code in a hospital, or good luck some would say.
They run on batteries and you have to go every so often so the techies behind the device can accumulate data.
I like my defibrillator...after a while of getting adjusted to a lump in my chest...it was cool. well sorta...you have to carry a card if you go to the airport cause you can't go thru the xray thingy they use to look for weapons...I have to avoid cell phones, microwaves, ex-wives, and anything that has a magnet. (don't expect any reports from the RAT from the North or South Poles) But hey, it comes with a warrenty, and a C.O.D. rebate of a few bucks when the mortician takes it from my corpse.
So I go in today and they hook me up and as I am laying there listening to this machine talk to my machine through my skin, I am thinking...man, is this is cyborgian or what? They say no way, you can feel anything but I do...it is a lot like the feeling you get just before the hairs on the back of your neck raise. sometimes when I have the sound on before I log on to Earthlink, and the modem is dialing...my heart responds...so usually when I log on, I turn the sound off.
Today was a good day. My device hadn't "popped". Everything in the numbers looks good. Oh Oh...They are scheduling me for every TWO months now because the battery is getting low. Next year about this time, they will wheel me into an operation room, and pull it out, put in some new batteries, and sew me back up.
I am gonna ask them to put in an Adapter so I can recharge in the car using the cigarette lighter outlet. (Can you imagine asking your date to wait a minute while you recharge your batteries? For some reason I found that hilarious)
Posted by: AK47
lol- that is hilarious.
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