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Rat on a Hot Tin Roof
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Posted by: laborat
Won't ever happen but it makes for a good title. Bonus points for knowing who the original author was and why they called him Tennesee.
I finally went out today....Couldn't help it had some dull biz that
couldn't be put off...There is a heat advisory out and people like me are supposed to stay in the ice house. It was like an oven and I had a hard time breathing. Glad I'm not practicing football or still in marching band.
This heat is normal for the region but not normal in its persistance, in part because of the Urban Rock structures that
absorb the heat and release it again at nite when the sun goes down. Only in a big city will you see temps in the high 80's at nite.
I cannot for the life of me, remember how I coped with the heat before AC was invented. Lots of Fans I guess.
Part of interstate 40 was closed in one lane due to the fact the heat cause the road to buckle...liquid asphat used to patch cracks from Cold in the Winter heats to magma/lava like proportions in the Summer heat and it erupts from the depths and shatters concrete like it was styrofoam. Imagine two ten mile long lanes of idling cars waiting for the flagman to finish drinking his water to wave them on...Lots of Stanley Steamers didn't make it... Ford Steamers, Chebby Steamers...anything over 10 years old was toast...err steamy toast...
I can remember the first time my engine overheated. It was 49 plymouth with a flat head six...(this was back in the days before automatic was invented) First you hear this low rumbling roar similar to what happened in the Poseiden Adventure...and then you look at your gauges and the Heat Indicator shows you are max Hot...It always happens miles from any station, and the only water you have with you is 2 dollars a bottle. You open up your hood and stand there wondering if you are brave enough to take the cap off or should you wait till it cools off a little. All the while, it bubbles and steams...In driver's ed they said don't take it off while it was that hot cause the anti-freeze will spew all over you and scald...and what's with anti-freeze anyways.. why don't they have anti-boil too? finally you get out an old sweater you have in the trunk wrap it around your hand and go try to take the cap off.
SPEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!! All of a sudden you are standing in a green puddle of steamy stuff heading down the highway....it melts your shoes...Whats left of the sweater you drop like a hot pancake...and then you wait for it to finish its eruption...Then you remember you aren't supposed to put water in the tank unless the engine is running...You try to start the engine but it won't start because its too hot...
Sorry got into a memory fugue there.. anyways.. same thing today...dodging asphalt cracks in the road... and cars along the wayside... you don't see State Road workers in this kind of heat.
nobody out walking but idiots and hitchhikers...Soon its all over and you are back home where it's cool and safe...Wondering why you were dumb enough to go outside in the first place. Haven't you heard of Online Banking? Anyways, I find that I complain about excessive heat almost as much as excessive cold...it must mean I am more of a complainer that I used to be...there has to be some place where the temperature isn't so EXTREME...well there is but they also have SMOG. go figure...When your hot you're hot, when your not it only means you have AC. *abandons this column and goes to the fridge for Ice Water. (tap water)
Posted by: Bishop
blink.
Posted by: redwench
go labby, go labby.
*does the laborat dance*
Posted by: LT
Ol' Tennessee's real name was Thomas Lanier Williams, born in Mississippi. I just know Tennessee was his nick name but not why.
Do I get half a cookie?
Posted by: laborat
go ahead and take a whole cookie...I haven't a clue as to
why they called him Tennesee either...maybe Miss Sippi was
a little too blatent.
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