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Dear Miss Cleo
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)
Posted by: laborat
From The Desk Of Miss Cleo
Dear Laborat,
We must speak with you. I don’t usually take the time out to write a personal note, labo, but your name was provided by someone you had recently spoken to. We believe your vibrations to be so strong that I’ve endorsed a free Tarot reading with one of our elite psychics! It’s urgent, however, that you call immediately—I can only reserve this number for a limited time. Call toll-free 1-800-308-2116, now!
Laborat, we sensed that your connection is likely to be unusually strong, especially in the very near future. It is vital that you call us right away to optimize the results of your reading. There’s not much time! Call toll-free 1-800-308-2116 as soon as you receive this letter!
With love and prayers,
Miss Cleo
P.S. Please do not share this number with anyone—it is meant only for you, Laborat. However, you must call soon—we can only reserve this number for a short time. Call toll-free 1-800-308-2116 right now!
Must be 18+. For entertainment purposes only
DEAR MISS CLEO,
I can tell you already know that it's not in the Cards for me to contact you. Most Geminis are heartbreakers. That powerful vibration you refer to must have been my stool softener kicking in. While I wax Flatulent, I must take time to say that I believe
you are the greatest thing to hit late nite Television since the original Ginsu Knife Commercials.
I love YOUR commercials and often will sit through terrible late nite movies just to see them. Twice now I have bought Rotisserie Ovens and Exercise Bikes just waiting for you to come on. You are
one HOT momma in a headdress and sometimes, when I fantasize about you reading our cards in bed, I have to reach for the nitro. There is something about a girl who looks out for her man, and is thrifty to boot. Your offer of saving me money is more than those 900 numbers could do.
As usual, you have hit the mark with me on my recent and forthcoming strong connections. The Queen of Staves you have overturned could only be BadKitty123, An online sweetie who is From Russia and Likes to flog rats in Glasses. I may be in Love, which you have already indicated and yes, I am shamelessly dating my dates mother. My Point, if there is one, is that Fortune favors those who gamble. I understand that and so do you. You can't win unless you play and you can't play to win unless you have an edge. In that you are providing a service unlike any other...well, sorta...nobody else has your Imitation Haitian Style.
I am vibing this to you as hard as I can and I hope you take it with a grain of salt. I have been told, also, that I know of things before I know them and have been both important and nobody in a past life. Sometimes I say things that aren't true yet later it turns out to be true. I have even told the truth on occaission and have had it been proven a lie...well, an illusion anyways...I am one of those guys who believes only in what he can see and if I can't see it, If I can feel it, I will believe it. I will get back to you after this cycle of intensity dies down.
I understand it is only for entertainment purposes but even entertainment can be moving...and expensive. That's why I watch grass grow a lot in my neighbors backyard. My neighbors all think I am not playing with a full deck but YOU, Miss Cleo, and I know that the Deck I am playing with, goes back to the Ancients.
PS...
Don't lean back in that Chair on TV...I keep getting feelings it is gonna collapse or get repossessed by the government.
yours truly, Labby
Posted by: Bishop
Several minutes of laughing followed by a loud crash as my elbow connects with the floor and the chair rockets out into the wall.
Posted by: redwench
hehe, im glad im not the only one getting that stupid email.
i like cleo's commercials. very entertaining.
Posted by: Chako
I have been most fortunate...I don't get any junk mail whatsoever...I can't complain. 
Posted by: Shalome
LOL -- Miss Cleo the JaFakin' Psychic! Whenever her commercials come on, my b/f does his wonderful jamaican accent and says "Yeah, Miss Clee-oh.. use yuh mystical power ah de Tarot ta figyah out when dat fake Jamaican accent ah yuhs gunna dissapeah!"
-Shalome
Posted by: redwench
lol shal
i think she might actually be jamacian, but who knows. shes very good at what she does----which is not psychic powers. shes good at reading people and telling them what they want to hear. ever hear her give a negative reading on those commercials? if she did, i might start to believe that the spirits were actually speaking to her. 
Posted by: Bishop
wait a minute, aren't psychics supposed to tell you things you DON'T know?
all she's done on her commercials is tell people what they already know.
Posted by: Ion Silverbolt
ROFL Labo
Posted by: EOT(US)
Don't you guys know nuttin? Miss Cleo is REALLY our Dear Old Aunt Labby .... from days of yore in OTS ..... and shame on you RAT!!! that Jamaican accent has not fooled any of us!  The thing that worries me though ..... you are now answering your own emails?  hehe
Posted by: AK47
Miss Cleo is sexxy
Posted by: Chako
<----- Hasn’t a clue who or what this Miss Cleo is...and from what I gather reading this thread...ignorance is bliss.
Posted by: EOT(US)
 Quote:
Originally posted by Chako
<----- Hasn’t a clue who or what this Miss Cleo is...and from what I gather reading this thread...ignorance is bliss.
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Well Chako .... since you have missed out on all the "good emails" from Miss Cleo we really don't want you to feel left out ..... so here ya go ....
----->http://www.misscleo-psychic.com/3298.html
This broad spends oooooooodddddddleeeeessssss of money advertising here in the U.S.!
Posted by: Chako
Ah I see....lucky us...we don't get her on this side of the border.
I do love her little legal blurb though.
"Must be 18 years of age or over!
* FREE READINGS LIMITED TO RESIDENTS OF THE U.S.A. ONLY DUE TO INTERNATIONAL LAW. FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY."
Posted by: EOT(US)
hmmmmmmmmmn!
EOT peeks in her mailbox to see if she gets paid for "hits" on Miss Cleo's site! 
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