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ON THE PERILS OF MALT BEVERAGES or...
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)
Posted by: KickingBird
WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I PULL THE BLIND DOWN LAST NIGHT BEFORE I PASSED OUT...
I woke up this morning on the couch to the sun pouring into my beady little bloodshot Canadian eyes. The next thing I found myself doing was flailing at the offending ray of misery as I rolled over the edge of the couch with a small scream. Hopefully I could find some shade under the coffee table.
No dice. Glass table top. Days off to a really good start..
After several minutes on the floor doing my much celebrated "something-lying-dead-in-a-ditch-after-being-run-over-by-a-truck" imitation, I figured I would make another attempt at dealing with my little photon bombardment problem by slithering around to escape...
This leads to one of my biggest pet peeves. Specifically, this statement:" If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."
I personally, and with great feeling, hope that whomever perpetrated this particular bit of linguistic nonsense is roasting in the lowest levels of whatever hell your local major deity has available.
Instead of making good my escape, I managed to crash into the legs of the fore-mentioned coffee table. This of course caused the previous evenings entertainment, a cleverly constructed edifice of mostly empty beverage containers to come crashing down around me. Joy. Mornings like this are why I stopped buying beer in bottles.
After several seconds of "Beer cans hitting table," and the obligatory sounds of "last moving can slowly spinning to a stop" noises, I realized none of the wretched things had spilled on or landed on me. Perhaps there is hope for this day yet...
That's when I raised my head and smashed it on the bottom of the coffee table. This caused some of the spilled beer that the table had caught to dribble down my neck. Followed by a single can landing on my poor, hard done-by self. Myself had a few things to say to me about the day so far. Sadly, due to this being a public forum, they can not be repeated here. Use your imagination.
Right.
Eventually, I made it to my feet, staggered to the bathroom, did the potty thing, scraped the fur off my tongue, (What *DID* I eat last night before I feel asleep anyway?) and wandered into the kitchen where I hoped coffee has occurred.
Like the timer on the coffee-maker would ACTUALLY work in my greatest hour of need? I poked the 'on' button.
Looks like corned-beef hash was on the menu last night. Judging from the empty tin and slightly scorched frying pan anyway. Amazing how much mess you can make in one night. NOT what I wanted to see. The sun coming thru the kitchen window full force onto my devastated kitchen was just too much.
I poked the 'off' button on the coffee maker. Forgot to put water in the damn thing anyway. Then I went into my bedroom, closed the blinds, and went back to sleep.
Posted by: Spider
hahaha!! that's funny as hell LoL!
Posted by: AK47
 Quote:
Originally posted by KickingBird
I poked the 'off' button on the coffee maker. Forgot to put water in the damn thing anyway. Then I went into my bedroom, closed the blinds, and went back to sleep. [/B]
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man, thats just the best feeling in the world, going to sleep in a dark, cold room, hungover. When you hit the bed, all is right and well.
Posted by: Null Actor
I like the modified version of that classic saying... the new one goes like this:
If at first you don't succeed, try again, then quit. No sense being a damn fool about it.
Posted by: laborat
one of my ex-wives was like that...exactly...at least the slithering part...
Posted by: Chako
Been there...done that (only once though), but the experience was nothing to write home to mom about! (winces at the memory that comes flooding back after reading KB's experience)
Posted by: redwench
never had a hangover. sounds like i havent missed much. KB, come live near me and you wont want to drink yourself into a stupor at night 
Posted by: laborat
You a nurse Red? He likes Nurses...
Posted by: redwench
nope, labby. just a wench im afraid. 
Posted by: LT
It was CANADIAN BEER???
NO WONDER!
nuff said.
Posted by: Chako
Hehe...Used to make Stout with around 11% alcohol. Mind you, you can't drink home made beer like all that commercial junk. To filling.
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