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To Hell and Back
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Posted by: laborat
I am most certainly glad to be back among the bytes and pieces of this fine online community...expressing onesself to online ghosts of gaming past, present, and future seem to be as valid an outlet as a soapbox on the corners of broadway and providence.
I suppose I could call this a rant should I find one inordinate ounce of passion left after being prodded and poked, IV'd, stuck, drained, x-rayed, and scanned. 13 f**king days in the hospital has left me mostly whimpering in bed beneathe the covers, waking at all times of the night -- hospital time -- listening for the carts that roll, that bring needles, scales, pills, or blood pressure measurement.
I have been to hell and back and hell is having your urininal too far away to be of use while on IV diuretic drips. It's having a computer terminal at your bedside and you don't have the password. It's having a nurse from bulgaria who thinks that a little pain relieves the greater pain. It's having low salt, low fat, hospital food that makes cardboard a gourmet meal.
It all started two weeks ago when I started taking on water like a beetle bored seaway dingy. No where to bail though. I gained weight from 240 up to 333 pounds. I had balls the size of golf balls. I go to the doctor the doctor says go to the hospital and thats where I went...no complaint from me I was a sick puppy. Suddenly I am in a hospital bed way to short for my body size, in a hospital gown that they left half of it at home to save money, with IVs on both arms giving me stuff I didn't even know what it was.
5 days later... no, I mean this, 5 days later I finally get a visit from a real doctor, a cardiologist no less who says my heart failure has become worse and what is happening is that I am not pumping enough fluid through my blood pipes fast enough without some leaking out and clogging tissues.
okay doc, I says, Am I gonna die? Will I be able to play the piano? Too soon to tell. Doc says. We are trying to stabilize you. Doc, I have never been stable in my entire life. At least you have a sense of humor, Doc says. I guess I say, if you think bittersweet pathos is funny. Could you have the nurses give me some peanut butter and crackers and a diet coke for my last meal? I think I can arrange that, the doc says. and leaves.
So what are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Go back over your life and separate regret from happiness? Ask God for whatever you should ask God for? No, not that... I am right with God. The bank no. The finance company no. Should I feel sorry for myself? douse myself with self pity and light a match? no. I decide to watch Ophra.
Posted by: Canis Lupus
ouch man .... hope everything pans out ... well, glad to see you're back with the living... somewhat ...
Posted by: marioze53
Yeah really Laborat. Ive missed your intellectual input, extensive vocabulary, and my frantic searches through the dictionary. I hope youre feeling better. Praying for you.
Posted by: Atlas4
It's been weird not reading Rants and Raves without a Doubting Thomas reply supplied by the best at Doubting Thomas replies. WB.
Posted by: Shalome
Hang in there, Labo. Good to see you back at the keyboard at least!
Posted by: justinious
Welcome back. Hope you are feeling better. I hope you had cute nurses at least. 
Posted by: IceBreaker
Wish you a swift recovery comrade - godspeed! 
EDIT:
 Quote:
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Originally Posted by justinious
I hope you had cute nurses at least.
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?! Not recommended in most cases - the torment of Tantalus can be annoying more than anything else http://www.touslessmileys.com/modul...age.php/723.gif
Posted by: Hambones
We're prayin' for you in Louisiana Labo. Keep your chin up. 
Posted by: AOTY2KB
For he's a jolly good fellow! For he's a jolly good fellow! For he's a jolly good fellow!!!!!! That nobody can deny! Good to know we have your perspective and good health back!
Posted by: uh...ok
Glad to have you back Labo. Take it easy on those cheese puffs.
Posted by: elhior_manwe
good luck laborat...hope you are feeling better every minute...
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