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Resume (REZ-oo-may) reading
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Posted by: Shalome
Okay.. call me stupid, but can "Novell" be considered an operating system in any capacity?!? I only ask because I'm stuck reading resumes of potential employees, and people are listing Novell under "Operating Systems:"
Then again, these people may just all be stupid. I mean, right now the one I'm working on says
"Operating Systems: Tci/pi, Novell, Windows 95, 96, 97 and 98."
Later in this resume, when describing former duties as an Administrative Assistant, it reads "Administratively assisted personnel on a daily basis."
Um... huh?!?
I'd say roughly half of the resumes I looked at today are on this level, complete with spelling and grammatical errors. Bottom line..
DON'T TRY TO FAKE IT. SOMEONE WILL KNOW. 
The scary thing is that the human resources wonks didn't catch this stuff outright.
Posted by: Canis Lupus
I guess anything that you can boot up with on a computer can be considered an operating system. So Novell can be marginally considered, although TCP/IP is definitely NOT an OS.
"Administratively assisted personnel?" Hehehe ... I guess that can mean that an administrative assistant helps him to mop the floor everyday ... go figure 
Some people try to use "big words" in their resumés to try and "impress" employers who do not know any better. Of course, most of the time these people do not even know their syntax and context...
"Objective: To succor in the administrative undertakings engaged in mundane overtures in order to achieve indefatigable affluence and perpetration of herculean magnitude."
For all we know he just wants to serve coffee everyday to the bosses...
Posted by: redwench
what is tci/pi?
so either she was a secretary or a gofer.
wait, i just noticed something. windows 96 and 97?!?!?!
god, the woman just made up stuff instead of exaggerating, didnt she? dont hire her, she doesnt even research what shes lying about 
Posted by: Shalome
It's a he.
Another snippet from the same resume:
"Supervised and tendered guidance to improve professional differences within a team-oriented atmospehere and inspire a sense of camaraderie to improve eventual productivity."
(and yes, it is spelled 'atmospehere' on this resume)
Potential translation: "told people to shut the hell up and let's all go have a beer -- we'll finish this tomorrow!"
Posted by: laborat
I have always admired people who could say nothing while using so many words...I consider them to be in a state of Grace before evolving into Zen Mimehood.
Posted by: redwench
omg. he sounds to dangerous to hire. he uses too many buzzwords
Posted by: Chako
If you look deeper, you might find he was/is a politician. 
Posted by: Shalome
From a different resume:
JOB DESCRIPTION:
"Advised and troubleshooted problems when or after they arose."
Wonder what she advised these problems of? And is that really the past tense of "troubleshoot"?
At least she 'troubleshooted' them 'when or after they arose', rather than before. This person also:
"Coordinated ceremonial events' sound and graphics and other things for various ceremonial events." Hmm.. not only vagueness, but redundancy! Okay, so I'm getting a bit nitpicky...
Posted by: EOT(US)
<---- fills out an application for Laggy
I here he is looking for a job ..... and meets all the requirements
Posted by: rockjock
 Quote:
Originally posted by Shalome
The scary thing is that the human resources wonks didn't catch this stuff outright.
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The hr people usually don't know. I worked one place were the hr people got there by being promoted from project clerk. Their main job is shuffling paper for new hires and releases.
HR would clear resumes to me from people who stood at a wave solder machine. I advertised for an industrial programmer with an instrumentation and process control background. That close isn't it?
I am amazed at the resumes received. You would think that if you wrote one and then reviewed it that bells would go off. Most people need help in putting a decent resume together to even be considered. It seems that it gets worse as time goes on.
"I no that I do not have the experiense but can be helpful becaus I am a quik lerner." You would like to ask, "Just what is it that you were a quick learner at?"
Posted by: Spork Lover
Shalome, you on a hiring committee now? Or do you get to pass on the "good" resumes?
Heh, I used a resume writer to help me with that type of stuff. As well as a few people to edit mistakes...
Yeah, some people beleive that more is better when it comes to resumes..... i beleive in as little as possible. I give them the basics, and if they have anymore questions, they can ask me in an interview... hasn't failed yet.
Posted by: Shalome
Nope, not so lucky as to be on a hiring committee.. While I'm stuck over here at the main office for a while, they have me doing weird things like looking at resumes for spelling and grammar mistakes.
Posted by: Chako
LOL.
Talk about a make work program.
Posted by: Mr.Dragon
I turned in a resume for mc donalds including my name address and phone number nothing else really and i was hired :P
Posted by: Digitalphatman
Quote:
Originally posted by Shalome
Potential translation: "told people to shut the hell up and let's all go have a beer -- we'll finish this tomorrow!"
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There is nothing wrong with shutting up and having a beer.
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