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People on the phone
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Posted by: SKYHN
I just cant stand it when someone calls you on the phone and they do not speak up. Its very annoying. Just about 2 mins ago, I get a call from a doctors office asking to reschedule an appointment. I could barely hear a word he was saying. I turned the phone volume all the way up, went to a quiet room and covered my other ear and still could barely hear him. He was talking just too softly. I didnt wanna be rude and go "Speak up, jackass!" but I wanted to. A secretary especially should know that when it comes to talking to people on the phone, you need to be loud and clear.
Now this brings me to bill collectors/telemarketers. Some how, this collection agency got it in their heads that a "David Johnson" lives in my house and owes them some money. They would call about 2x a day, always a different person, asking for him. It got to the point where I yelled at the person one day and told them to "Do not call here again, there is no David Johnson here, there never has been and there never will be. DO NOT CALL HERE AGAIN!" and slammed the phone on them. Those calls have stopped now. I shouldnt have to yell at someone to get them to stop something, but there are so many stupid people out there that its sometimes necessary.
Then theres telemarketers. These are the worse. Ive found a trick though to tell if its a telemarketer or not: When you pick up the phone and nobody is there for 2 seconds, then they say hello, its a telemarketer. I automatically hang up on telemarketers. I have no desire to order anything over the phone, especially when I have internet access.
Anyone have any interesting experiences with people calling you on the phone?
Posted by: Swilo
Never try to reason with telemarketers.
"Are you interested...credit card...blahblahblah"
"Nope, don't need it."
"Everybody needs a credit card. It doesn't cost you a thing!"
"I don't have the money to be spending."
"But even if you don't use it you'll build good credit."
"If I had it I would use it, then I'd be in debt. That wouldn't be good credit."
"But there's no annual fee!"
"I said I don't have the money"
"But you don't need money if there's no annual fee!"
"I SAID I DO NOT WANT THIS PIECE OF SHIT CARD YOU ARE OFFERING, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T COST ME ANYTHING. I HAVE GOOD CREDIT ALREADY, TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST AND THE LISTS OF ANY OTHER *******-RUN COMPANIES YOU SOLD MY NAME TO! IF YOU CALL HERE AGAIN I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR HARASSMENT!"
*now sounding kind of afraid*
"But there's no annual fee, it won't cost you a thing..."
"I TOLD YOU TO STFU AND LEAVE ME ALONE, HAVE A BAD DAY!"
*click*
Oh, and I could barely hear her.
Posted by: redwench
skyhn, there was no need to yell at the collection agency. all you had to say was that whathisface did not live there, and not to call again. if another call came, you mention things like "harassment". the secret to getting anyone not to call you again is to say so, not be abusive or manipulative.
my evil grandmother, when she got unwanted telemarking calls, was really wierd. instead of saying "not interested, dont call me again", she would say "im just taking a pie out of the oven". so of course, they would call back in a couple hours and run the spiel again. not being the brightest woman, she never figured out the connection.
ive always found that "not interested, take me off your calling list" works the best.
Posted by: SKYHN
 Quote:
Originally posted by redwench
skyhn, there was no need to yell at the collection agency. all you had to say was that whathisface did not live there, and not to call again.
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I had told them that 6 times. Each time it was a different person who called, trying to catch "David Johnson" off guard. The times before I asked them nicely not to call anymore because he didnt live here, but the last time they called I was sick of it and let them have it.
Im about to place an order for the phone butler, that will teach em!
Posted by: Bobaroo
I hate when I will hang up on a telemarketer, and then they call me back. They don't get the point that I don't want there product.
Posted by: Spork Lover
Telemarketers are great. You can earn money off of them. First off when they call, you ask for their name, and the call number. If they refuse to give it to you, report it to the Phone company. Thats illegal. They have to give you that info.
Then tell them to never call you ever again about anything, tell them to take you off all of their lists. IF they call you again then they owe you $500. The trick is to document the call number and the callers name, telemarketing companies have to keep those records.
Posted by: redwench
i dont think most of you people understand the law regarding these calls. if you tell someone not to call you again and take you off the list, they have to comply or its a violation of law. the vast majority will do so with no problem. but you do have to be clear.
Posted by: Ion Silverbolt
I won't even get a home phone. I'll just use my Cell phone. They can't telemarket on those yet.
Posted by: Chako
I have a simple fix for telelmarketers. I have caller ID and an answering machine. When my phone rings, I take a quick peek at caller ID. If it says "Unknown caller", I simply let the answering machine take it. If it has a name, then I will pick it up.
Since I adopted this technique, I never have to deal with telemarketers for their company etc always pays to hide their identity.
I love their consistency.
Posted by: Muggs
Actually they dont take you off a list, they put you on a do not call list and they have to maintain one and cannot call you for up to 5 years i think.
Just say "Put me on your do not call list"
if you just say "dont call me anymore" they dont really have to stop calling.
SKHYN you think a collection agency is bad for that? Try the local police calling every day at 11am for some person i have never heard of when i am sleeping. they did this for about 2 weeks straight. And i dont think telling him off would have done much then getting me a fine or something.
Posted by: Bobaroo
Quote:
Originally posted by Chako
I have a simple fix for telelmarketers. I have caller ID and an answering machine. When my phone rings, I take a quick peek at caller ID. If it says "Unknown caller", I simply let the answering machine take it. If it has a name, then I will pick it up.
Since I adopted this technique, I never have to deal with telemarketers for their company etc always pays to hide their identity.
I love their consistency.
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O yes, Caller ID works wonders. But during the day I have to pick up becuase my Dad's office comes up as "Unkown Caller".
Posted by: Muggs
just buy one of those telezapper thing for like 10$
Posted by: Erekose
I just use the 2 second pause method. First off not many people have my house phone number and sometimes I screen just so I don't have to get the phone. But if I do pick up and it's a telemarketer there is always a pause and they always say my name wrong (I mean c'mon how hard is 'Armitstead' it's said exactly as it's spelt). But even when I know that they are a telemarketer I'll still usually listen to what they have to say, then express my disintrest (I'm only rude to those religious sects that send people to my door. As if I can't find a freakin' church if I wanted to)
Posted by: Bobaroo
I hate when telemarketers get my name wrong. It pisses the hell out of me!! It is not hard to Say Graziano...Gra-Zi-A-No...not hard at all.
Posted by: tkron
When Telemarketers call and mispronounce my name (has five letters in it) I respond "Why would I want anything from a company that cannot even pronounce my name?" and then I hang up.
Posted by: Canis Lupus
I have actually written up a "counter-telemarketer" response long ago that I was gonna read when telemarketers made the mistake of calling my number ... it ranged from selling adult magazines to cherry-flavored condoms ... didn't really get to try it though (the response, I mean)...
Posted by: Ion Silverbolt
Tell them a story.
"Click and clack were out in a boat. Clack fell out. Who is left?"
Click..
Posted by: Chako
Lol Ion...I think I may use that one at a later date....will wait for the next unsuspecting telemarketer victim to ring the house. 
They never can pronounce my last name either. .
Problem is that here in this city, there are more telemarketer businesses that crop up as part of some half rate Govt make work project. We now have 3 separate telephone slave driver companies now operating in this town. One I know, calls only the US...go figure.
Telemarketing is a job nobody loves. It must be the worst job around. I know, have a few friends who were forced into it by necessity. They have to reach a quota or they are out of there. The pay sucks also, and they get the pleasure of being told where to go in many languages. I see all the employees out of the building when I drive bye, smoking on their break....a stressful dead end job if there ever was one. It sucks the soul right out of you.
Posted by: Spork Lover
Muggs, no matter how you put it, you say dont call me, take me off the list, put me on the no call list... if they call you again and you have all the info handy, you can get money out of them.... $500 to be exact. If I lived 20 mins west of where I do now, I could pay the phone company extra money to put me on the telemarketer no-call list.
I can deal with telemarketers... they are fun to talk too  It's junk mail that makes me mad. One day when they send me one of those first class return envelopes Im going to tape it to a cinder block and drop it off at the post office. Ha... i wonder what it would cost to send a cinder block first class across the US!
Posted by: Muggs
some company sent me a survey so i filled it out all bullshit like er wait that was the census then this other one they sent me back a pack of gum.
Posted by: Asmodai
Quote:
Originally posted by Swilo
Never try to reason with telemarketers.
"Are you interested...credit card...blahblahblah"
"Nope, don't need it."
"Everybody needs a credit card. It doesn't cost you a thing!"
"I don't have the money to be spending."
"But even if you don't use it you'll build good credit."
"If I had it I would use it, then I'd be in debt. That wouldn't be good credit."
"But there's no annual fee!"
"I said I don't have the money"
"But you don't need money if there's no annual fee!"
"I SAID I DO NOT WANT THIS PIECE OF SHIT CARD YOU ARE OFFERING, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T COST ME ANYTHING. I HAVE GOOD CREDIT ALREADY, TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST AND THE LISTS OF ANY OTHER *******-RUN COMPANIES YOU SOLD MY NAME TO! IF YOU CALL HERE AGAIN I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR HARASSMENT!"
*now sounding kind of afraid*
"But there's no annual fee, it won't cost you a thing..."
"I TOLD YOU TO STFU AND LEAVE ME ALONE, HAVE A BAD DAY!"
*click*
Oh, and I could barely hear her.
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Here's how I deal with Telemarketers.
Me: Hello?
*long pause*
Telemarketer: Hello, is Mr. ****** (telemarketer butchers my name) there?
Me: Uh, yeah? Speaking.
Telemarketer: Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the AT&T Digital Cable and was wondering if (blah.. blah..)
Me: Well, I'm kind of busy right now. How about you give me your home number and I'll call you when I have some free time and we can discuss this.
Telemarketer: But... well, I don't want you callng me at home.
Me: HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL!?!?!
*click*
Heh.
Posted by: Tweaker
Other Ways to Get Rid of Telemarketers
1) If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
2) If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they get try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
3) If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, and then ask him to spell the company name, and then ask him where it is located. Continue asking him personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
4) This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Cathy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
5) Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Jane!! Is this really you? Oh, my God! Jane, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Jane a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
6) Say, "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7) If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
8) If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"
9) Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.
10) Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."
11) Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh, my God!!!" and then hang up.
12) Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Well, now you know how I feel" and hang up.
http://www.slick.com/new/gaggifts/f...ngerandlogo.gif Talking Superhero Doll
Tired of Telemarketers bugging you at dinner time? Next time a Telemarketer, or other phone pest, interrupts your evening, put the Telavenger on the phone! He has four hilarious recorded messages that will drive them crazy! Get the Telavenger and get revenge on Telemarketers!
Posted by: SKYHN
Quote:
Originally posted by Asmodai
Here's how I deal with Telemarketers.
Me: Hello?
*long pause*
Telemarketer: Hello, is Mr. ****** (telemarketer butchers my name) there?
Me: Uh, yeah? Speaking.
Telemarketer: Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the AT&T Digital Cable and was wondering if (blah.. blah..)
Me: Well, I'm kind of busy right now. How about you give me your home number and I'll call you when I have some free time and we can discuss this.
Telemarketer: But... well, I don't want you callng me at home.
Me: HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL!?!?!
*click*
Heh.
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You Seinfeld Ripoff! 
Posted by: Asmodai
Quote:
Originally posted by SKYHN
You Seinfeld Ripoff!
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That was done on Seinfeld? I don't watch TV... that bastard ripped me off!!!!
Posted by: SKYHN
Yeah it was on seinfeld. I dont think anyone remembers it accept me though. Thats what happens when youve seen too much seinfeld I guess.
Posted by: Fenix2004
Telemarketers hardly ever call my house and when they do I just say no thankyou and hang up. I have never had an iccident when they keep calling back repeatdly..
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